Valentine’s Day usually evokes sentiments of love and romance, but there’s a great number of people who aren’t expecting to spend the holiday with such an enjoyable experience. As some are planning an engagement or wedding, many couples are considering or going through divorce. An article from the New York Post indicates that lawyers realize an increase of as much as 40 percent in divorce filings around the first of the year, as compared to the previous six months.
However, with all the greeting card and jewelry ads forcing you to pay attention February 14th, it’s hard to get away from all the hype. Some interesting statistics should make you realize you’re not alone in these feelings, but few tips may also help you cope with Valentine’s Day in divorce.
Statistics and Notable Trends: One of the most interesting facts about Valentine’s Day is that there’s a statistical relationship between the holiday and both the beginning AND end of marriages. News outlet Bloomberg published the results of a study conducted by the Institute for the Study of Labor in Germany, which indicated that:
- Weddings were between 137-509 percent higher on Valentine’s Day and other special dates, as compared to average dates;
- Couples who do get married on these dates were around 18-36 percent more likely to divorce within five years afterwards;
- Search engines report that they experience a surge of more than 40 percent of people searching for information about divorce; and,
- By the mark of their ninth anniversaries, up to 21 percent of all Valentine’s Day marriages were headed for divorce.
From the demographical data they collected, researchers concluded that there were a few trends to support the statistical relationship. Many of the couples were less similarly matched, and perhaps were somewhat rushed in their decision to get married on a special date like Valentine’s Day. For many who married on February 14th, it was the first time each spouse had walked down the aisle.
Another observation noted by researchers is that getting married on a holiday makes it more difficult to secure popular, sought-after venues. Plus, potential guests were more likely to decline because of conflicting schedules on holidays. Combined, these two factors often result in low attendance for the wedding – another factor that increases the chances of a break-up.
Tips to Get Through Valentine’s Day: Helpful friends, family, and others might try to cheer you up when you’re contemplating the end of your marriage. Many will offer advice or tell you to think of divorce as a new beginning rather than an end. Some of their tips may be useful, but consider a few other suggestions from Virginia divorce attorneys who have represented many clients through the process.
- If you’ve just initiated divorce around February 14th, don’t get distracted by the romance of the holiday. Getting emotional about your situation might take focus away from the main priority: Achieving divorce-related objectives and protecting your rights.
- Don’t allow sentimental thoughts about the past interfere with your decision making in divorce, as the process affects your future – and your children’ futures, if you have them.
- Take emotion out of the equation by seeking support from outside sources. Meet with a counselor, look into group sessions, or take advantage of phone apps that enable remote talk therapy.
- Approach your divorce from a practical, rational viewpoint, which will help you concentrate on the financial aspects. Keep in mind that Virginia’s divorce statute allows for agreements between parties, and compromise is much more likely when you’re focused on the process as a transaction.
- Never try to navigate the divorce process without a skilled attorney. Your lawyer can help by compartmentalizing the legal process, and acting as a buffer between you and your soon-to-be-ex spouse. Plus, your attorney will be prioritizing your needs and rights, so you’re in a better position to get a favorable outcome on asset division, alimony, and issues related to minor children – whether by agreement or in a courtroom.
A Skilled Virginia Divorce Lawyer Can Guide You Through the Process
You may not be able to completely ignore Valentine’s Day when you’re considering or going through divorce, but you can make things easier on yourself when you have an experienced, compassionate attorney to assist with the process. To learn more about your rights and legal options in divorce, please contact Shannon & Associates, P.C. to set up a consultation at our offices in Chesapeake or Suffolk, VA. We can explain more about the proceedings and what to expect after reviewing your situation.